PLEASE NOTE: If you see this text, it means that certain resources could not be loaded and the website is not displayed correctly. This can happen when browsing on Apple devices (iPhone, iPad etc.) due to a bug in their software. Try the refresh button to reload this website, or use a different device not running Apple's iOS. Stop using Apple products.
Type what you’re looking for and press Enter.

What I look for in women

What do I look for in women? This is no doubt a question that has kept many women busy for many years. Is it big boobs? Wide hips? Perhaps even a big ass? Must she look like a model? The mystery is finally revealed in this post.

But first, let me mention two important reasons for why I’ve written this post:

  1. The first reason is that I want to be very open and transparent about this and I want to avoid wasting my time as much as possible. Publishing this information here on my blog allows women who might be interested in me to know how I think about a number of important things and allows them to determine well in advance if they are compatible with me. It’s also very convenient for me to simply send women I’m interested in a link to this post so that they can read it and understand how I think before I spend too much time on them that might not have been necessary. It also significantly reduces the chances for misunderstandings.
  2. The second reason is that I want to share this information with everyone, especially men, so that they can possibly learn from my experience and save themselves a lot of time and trouble in the future. This post is the result of years of personal experience, general observations and research. If there’s one piece of advice I can give men it’s this: adopt this way of life, and you’ll definitely be better off in the long term. You won’t find a lot of women that match these preferences, but those you do find will be worth your time, and you’ll have avoided a lot of issues in your life.

My preferences discussed below have evolved over time and I continue to refine them. When I was much younger, I was very much under the influence of the brainwash that society enforces on everyone everywhere around the planet when it comes to the subject of love and relationships. My thoughts on those subjects were very similar to the misconceptions most people have today. I quickly learned, however, that those thoughts were very wrong. I deeply regret not knowing back then what I know today because it would have made me understand my environment better, would have saved me a lot of precious time, and would have saved me from a lot of unnecessary pain and trouble. But as they say, better late than never.

Now let’s get on to what I look for in women.

True Love

Understanding and being able to live according to the principles of true love is the most important thing I look for in women. Most people living around the world today have a very corrupted view of love, and have absolutely no idea what love really is. Consequently they’re also not capable of truly loving another person. Because true love is very far reaching (it is after all the foundation of the entire universe), it covers most of the things I look for in women, some of which I will still cover separately below. To understand exactly what I mean by true love, forget everything you think you know about love and read my post “The Difference between Love and Lust.” Please stay very far away from me if you don’t agree with what’s written there. I’m only looking for women who understand what true love is and who live accordingly.

Kindness / Compassion

I’m very allergic to meanness and I tend to avoid everyone with such a personality as much as possible. I like to spend time with people who are kind and compassionate. I can easily fall for women with those qualities. Don’t fake it, however, because I’m very good at detecting whether or not it’s genuine.

Sadly, most women today can be very mean, and this is in large part due to sexual repression, which I will discuss in more details later below. If I let a woman into my life, I expect her to add value to my life, not stress. Similarly, if I enter someone else’s life, I try to make sure it’s to make a positive contribution. Otherwise it’s better to stay away from them.

Trustworthiness / Honesty

Trust is one of the most fundamental ingredients for building any kind of relationship (intimate, friendship, family, business etc.). And you can only have trust when there’s truth and honesty. I place a very high importance on the truth and on honesty. I despise deception.

During the course of my life I’ve learned how valuable the truth is. For me to tell a lie now there would have to be an extreme situation, for example, one where I would have to do it in order to protect myself from aggression or abuse.

Truth is essential to be able to grow and live a good and fulfilling life. The entire universe can only exist because of truth. That’s why it’s very important to me that the truth, honesty and trustworthiness are valued in all my relationships. And this is especially so when it comes to relationships I have with the opposite sex.

If you want to be close to me, I’m going to have to be able to trust you. From the beginning I usually like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but once you start losing my trust you can never win it back.

I admit, it can often be painful to hear the truth, but it’s necessary to be able to grow. I might get hurt, but you shouldn’t worry about that. Like I often say: Hurt me with the truth, and I will appreciate your honesty; hurt me with a lie, and you lose my trust in you forever. What ultimately matters is your intention. Are you telling the truth to damage or hurt someone, or, are you doing it to help them improve? When it’s about personal matters, calling someone aside and telling them the truth in private is often a good indication of doing so with good intentions.

Discreteness / Privacy

I don’t like gossip; it’s a terrible waste of time. You’ll rarely hear me talking about other people, unless it’s very relevant to the subject being discussed. And even then, I don’t like talking about people’s personal and private matters. When it comes to people’s privacy, my mind is like a black hole. Everything people tell me about themselves goes into it, never to come out again.

In general people often like to talk to me about personal matters that they wouldn’t talk to about with others. And when I ask them why this is the case, they usually say that they feel very comfortable with me and feel as though they can trust me. And I think what I mentioned above is one of the important reasons why people feel that way with me. For me to divulge any personal information from someone there would have to be some kind of extreme situation, perhaps a lawsuit or maybe a situation where I would have to protect myself from their abuse.

Just like with Vegas, what happens together with Karel, stays with Karel. For example, I’m definitely not one of those guys who will have sex with a girl and go around telling all my friends about it. Friends often ask “who I’m banging these days,” and they get absolutely nothing from me.

And so I expect the same from any woman I’m close to. I expect extreme discreteness, confidentiality and privacy. Anything I tell her is for her ears only, anything we do together stays with us — especially when it comes to personal and intimate matters. If I can’t trust her with this, she simply won’t get very close to me.

In general I don’t give a flying fuck about what people think of me or whether people are gossiping about me, but I like to keep the flow of information to them to a minimum. In an ideal world I wouldn’t care so much about privacy (the universe is after all an inherently open system) because people in such a world wouldn’t use the information to do damage to me; instead they would use it to help me. However, in our current corrupted societies around the world, most people are simply barbarians who enjoy making fun of each other and bringing each other down whenever there’s an opportunity to do so. And I try to avoid helping them with that as much as possible.


I very much prefer women who are independent in the broadest sense of the word. Strong women. Women who know exactly what they want and make their own decisions, who can fully rely on themselves, and who are perfectly happy being by themselves. Women who are emotionally and financially independent. One of the reasons why I prefer such women, is that I don’t want to be seen as some kind of escape for anyone.

If you’re looking for someone to (financially) support you or take care of you, please stay away from me. If you’re looking for someone to move in and live together with, please stay away from me. If you’re looking to show off with me (in public), please stay away from me. If you’re looking for someone to make you happy, please stay away from me. Those are some of the wrong reasons to start an intimate relationship with someone.

Especially in our current corrupted societies around the world it’s very important to be able to know whether someone wants you for the right reasons, because very often it’s not the case. The only way you can truly know if someone wants you for the right reasons, is when that person is completely independent and doesn’t need anything from you, except for your time, friendship and intimacy. They should be fully capable of breaking up with you and stop seeing you whenever they feel like it.

Think about it; if someone is living together with you and/or is (financially) dependent on you, it’ll be very difficult to know what their true motivations are for staying with you. Do they really enjoy your company, or, is it (mostly) the fact that they are somehow dependent on you (financially or otherwise) and can’t leave (a situation that will surely cause you a lot of stress)?

I want women to want to spend time with me for the right reason. And the only right reason for women to want to spend time with me is to be able to experience me intellectually and intimately (lust). In other words, the only right reason for women to want to spend time with me is for my friendship, sex and intimacy.

Those are also the only things I expect to get from women. I can take care of myself, clean my house, wash my clothes, and make sure I have something to eat. If I’d need a woman for those things I’m better off hiring a maid.


I value my freedom and independence very much. Freedom is the ultimate value in life. And you can only truly have freedom when you’re independent in the broadest sense of the word possible. I won’t allow anyone to possess or control me in any way. This means that exclusive relationships and marriage are out of the question. There are no soul mates and perfect partners in life who can satisfy all my needs (for eternity), and it’s completely natural to love and desire multiple people at the same time (humans are naturally polygamists). That’s why I need to be completely free to be able to spend time with whomever I want, whenever I want and however I want. I need to be completely free to live my life the way I want, of course with respect for the right to life of others around me.

Any woman who is capable of truly loving another human being, will understand that truly loving someone means allowing them to be free. As far as true love is concerned, there can be no room for jealousy.

Of course women can also expect the same from me. I will never curtail their freedom and will never interfere in their life in any way. I even encourage women to have multiple partners if they desire. When they still choose to spend time with me while having others to choose from, I can be sure they really want to spend time with me out of their own free will and that they probably enjoy my company.

No Sexual Repression

Unfortunately most women living in societies around the world today suffer from (mild to severe forms of) mental damage due to the brainwash they received from society starting at very early childhood. This brainwash was specifically geared towards making them suppress and even repress their sexual desires. As a result of this brainwash, they don’t know some of their most important motivations and desires anymore and have essentially forgotten their true nature. This has led them to develop undesirable behavior and becoming very irrational. I discuss the details on this in my article series on Understanding Women, and I encourage you to read it to know exactly what I mean. The below video also explains it.

Having to deal with women who suffer from mental damage caused by sexual repression is not something I’m looking forward to. Typically these women expect men to go through elaborate courting and dating games before they allow them to get closer and intimate with them. As far as I’m concerned, courtship and dating are a terrible waste of time, energy, money and other resources, and can potentially cause a lot of problems between men and women. So I avoid such games as much as possible.

Women suffering from sexual repression often work with “signs” to let men know they are interested, instead of just being upfront about it and clearly saying what they want. Apart from their preference to “communicate” via “signs” and expecting you to just magically know what they want at any given point in time, you can also expect a lot of irrationality from these women because of the mental issues caused by sexual repression, which will cause a lot of drama, arguments, stress etc.

I’m very open and transparent about how I handle women who suffer from sexual repression, and I’ve described most of it in my post “Why courtship and dating are a waste of time.”

I’m looking for women who are mostly free from sexual repression. These women know exactly what they feel, are very aware of their (sexual) desires and aren’t afraid to be open and upfront about it. They know what they want and will readily admit from the very beginning, in clear unambiguous words, whether they desire a man or not, and if so, will be unafraid to act on their desires. These women also tend to be straightforward, rational and emotionally stable, all of which are very important to me.

Usually I ask women I’m interested in from the very beginning if they are sexually attracted to me or not, and if so, invite them to come over to my house. I do that before wasting time with courtship and dating. And the reason why I do that is because it allows me to:

  1. See whether they are interested in me or not. If they reject my offer, I move on immediately knowing I’ve saved myself lots of time, energy and other resources.
  2. See whether (and to what degree) they are suffering from sexual repression. If they reject my offer, but appear to be interested in me, I know they suffer from sexual repression caused by society’s brainwash. In this case I ask them to let me know when they’ve made up their minds, and I then move on immediately. Women who are honest and free from sexual repression will not only immediately admit to me if they are sexually attracted to me, but will also not be afraid to act on those desires. Such women are essentially just like men when it comes to their sexuality. I’m sure you can imagine that if a woman invites a man who desires her to her house for sex, the majority of men will show up at her house pronto. And that’s because men don’t suffer from sexual repression as much as women do, and generally aren’t afraid to act on their desires. When a woman who desires me immediately accepts my offer to come over to my house for sex, it’s an indication that she doesn’t suffer very much from sexual repression (in any case it’s going to be less extreme than the majority of women). In addition, because I didn’t spend any time courting her and trying to win her over (which essentially amounts to mind manipulation), I can also be sure of the fact that she made an independent, conscious decision based on her own free will to spend time with me. In such a case her company is much more valuable to me, because I can be sure she desired to spend time with me all by herself.

When I mention above that I “move on immediately” this means that I stop spending time on these women unless it’s explicitly required (for instance for professional reasons (such as business), or to help someone in need). Otherwise it’s a waste of my precious time. Men and women cannot be just friends so I don’t do friendzone, brotherzone nor daddyzone. Conversations, if they must be had, are kept very short and professional. I don’t waste my time chatting with women on instant messaging services unless we’ve already shared time together personally. Personal contact is what matters.

I’m also not interested in spending time with women who are in exclusive relationships or married, because we can’t have any intimacy in that case. I like to be honest (and not be a hypocrite), and I will avoid women cheating with me on their boyfriends and/or husbands.

Intelligence / Curiosity / Sense of Humor

After a while interactions between men and women tend to get very boring when it’s only about sex. So I prefer women who are intellectually stimulating and are interesting to talk to and spend time with. This doesn’t mean that we have to be interested in the same things or agree with each other on most things; in fact, I don’t mind if we disagree on many things, as long as it makes me think and grow intellectually.

It also doesn’t mean that a potential candidate has to be very smart or intelligent. As long as there’s a healthy curiosity and interest in learning about various things in life, it means that we’ll have something interesting to talk about when we’re spending time together. With a good sense of humor those conversations will also often be fun to have. I generally don’t like to talk about shallow/superficial things and like I mentioned before, I don’t like gossip.

Natural Beauty

For some reason people often think that I have very high standards when it comes to beauty. Sure, I know what looks beautiful and I have very specific things that I find attractive. But beauty is very subjective and what we find beautiful is unfortunately highly influenced by our social programming. It’s always a combination of things that make me find someone beautiful; I look at the complete picture. Her beauty should be balanced with her personality. Even if she’s just average looking, if her personality is such that she satisfies all the other things I look for in women, then average is good enough for me.

Is she flat chested? No problem. A flat ass? No problem. Race doesn’t matter either as long as she’s attractive according to my taste. Generally I do prefer women who look pleasing without any kind of artificial enhancements (such as makeup, fake nails, fake eyebrows, fake hair, fake breasts etc.).

The only strong preference that I have when it comes to physical appearance is that I do prefer women with a slim figure. Not only do women with a slim figure look more attractive (according to my taste), but a slim figure is also preferred for practical reasons — sex is a lot easier and more fun with these women.

I also tend to prefer younger women because younger women tend to look physically more attractive. However, age doesn’t matter much to me; to a certain extent, age is really just a number. When I was much younger, I often had a crush on my female teachers at school who were many years older than me. And I’m sure that when I’m 50 years old, I won’t mind spending time with a 18 year old girl. So far I’ve had intimate relations with women who were as much as 12 years older than me, as well as women who were as much as 12 years younger than me. I’ve met young girls who have surprised me with how mature they can think and behave, and I’ve met older women with a young playful mind, who often also looked younger than they really were. So it all really depends on the person.

Closing Thoughts

I could be like most men these days, and try to conform to our corrupted societies around the world in order to increase my chances with women. I could spend lots of time courting women, telling them what they want to hear, essentially manipulating their minds in order for them to give me what I want. I could spend lots of money on them and buy their “love.” I could use various social/psychological tricks to manipulate them into desiring me. I could also lie to them and pretend that I’m looking for a serious exclusive relationship, only to dump them after I’ve gotten what I wanted and grew tired of them. I could also manipulate them into becoming dependent on me so they have no choice but to stay with me and have nowhere else to go.

But I’ve chosen not to do all of those things. I love women very much and respect their right to life. So instead, I’ve chosen to be honest and upfront about my desires, intentions and motivations, even when I know that, sadly, it will have a severely negative impact on my chances with women in our current societies around the world.

In the future when the world has adopted a social system that’s much more aligned with nature, such as the Venus Project, the motivations that men and women will have for spending time with each other are going to be very different compared to the perverted motivations that prevail today. I believe people’s motivations for spending time with the opposite sex will be based on a lot of what I mentioned above.

Imagine living in a world where everything was free and guaranteed. A world where you have free access to everything you need to cover your basic needs and to live a comfortable life. You have your own apartment or house, there’s plenty of food every day, and robots take care of the cleaning and mostly everything else that needs to be done. You can essentially live a very luxurious life there all by yourself. Think about what would motivate you in such a case to spend time with the opposite sex. I think that the only motivation you can come up with to spend time with a person from the opposite sex in such a case is to experience them, especially intimately but also intellectually or otherwise (lust). That’s the purest most natural motivation you can have to want to spend time with a person from the opposite sex.

And although we don’t yet live in such an ideal society, I do look for women who come very close to those ideals. Women who are both pure at heart and at mind. The “fairy queens” we’ve lost thousands of years ago, and have all been longing for. I’m confident that within 200 years we’ll start to see such societies appearing on Earth, and within 1000 years they’ll cover the entire planet exactly as foretold.

In the mean time, I try not to deprive myself of human needs. In desperate times the occasional visit to brothels and the use of escort services will have to do. Most women these days are basically prostitutes anyway (trading sex and intimacy for money, fame, favors, ownership of your body and soul (your wealth, resources, labor) in marriage and exclusive relationships, etc.), so I might as well go to those that don’t pretend otherwise instead of letting myself be (ab)used.


  1. Karel Donk's Blog » Why courtship and dating are a waste of time (08/02/2016)
  2. Karel Donk's Blog » The Manipulated Man (16/03/2016)
  3. Women, your vagina does become less tight — Karel Donk (07/01/2019)
  4. Mining for a Heart of Gold — Karel Donk (27/10/2019)


There are 4 responses. Follow any responses to this post through its comments RSS feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.