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What strong men look for in a woman

Today I read an article on The Huffington Post where the author points out that, these days, strong men are increasingly more often looking for a strong, independent and intelligent woman:

Men are finding the most attractive and sexually desirable women are not brainless beauties whose sole function is to look good and stay quiet, but women who are making good money and are in positions of power. The woman who got ahead on her looks by marrying a “sugar daddy” is now being replaced by the woman who is equal to her man in earning power and career position. That’s sexy.

Says Dr. [Stephen] Juan: “A really strong man wants a woman who is equal to him, that is the truth of it now. A weak man wants someone that is docile and a servant to him — it is a real sign of insecurity in a man to want a brainless trophy wife. Wives can be beautiful, intelligent and have careers and opinions just as strong as their partners.”

The days of a well-off older man who has a brainless beauty on his arm at social functions seems to be a deal out of Mad Men. Educated, intelligent women are the ones most sought-after by men of the same caliber. Brains are the new beauty.

However, the article also assumes that strong men want to marry such women, and I think that this is wrong and contradicting.

Really strong men do NOT want to get married to a single woman for the rest of their life; they know that’s a very bad idea. Only a weak man would want to tie a woman into an exclusive relationship with him (including marriage), so that he can make her dependent, control her and pretend to own her. That’s a real sign of insecurity in a man.

On the contrary, a strong man is confident enough to let a woman stay a separate, free and independent human being, who is free to spend time with whomever she wants, whenever she wants, and is completely free to live her life the way she wants. And this is because a strong man knows how to truly love a woman; he respects her right to life and her basic needs as a human being (click here to fully understand what this means).

A strong man knows that if a strong woman truly desires to spend time with him, he won’t have to waste his time putting unnatural amounts of effort into convincing her to do so; she will say so herself and ask for his time. Yes, strong, independent and intelligent women know what they want and don’t like to play games — they’re very clear and direct and actively pursue their desires.

A strong man also knows that a strong woman will stick around all by herself because of what he has to offer her (his personality, intellect, intimacy etc. — nothing materialistic). And when a woman loses her interest in him — which is bound to happen eventually (read here why) — a strong man can easily move on because he knows that there are many more interesting women out there (and he may even have already been enjoying their company simultaneously).

In fact, a strong man never limits himself to one woman; he simultaneously enjoys the company of as many women as he desires in his life. A strong man knows that variety is key to living an enjoyable and fulfilling life (read here why). And he also knows that strong women will readily acknowledge this simple fact of life, as they themselves also need variety in their own lives as well.

The article also mentions the following:

To paraphrase Henry Kissinger, a powerful man who married Nancy Maginnes, a powerful woman: “Power, success and financial security are the ultimate aphrodisiacs”.

I disagree with that as well. That statement may be true in the sick world we currently live in, but I think that the ultimate aphrodisiacs are independence, intelligence, compassion and the ability to truly love. This will only become more so in the future.


  1. Karel Donk's Blog » What I look for in women (09/08/2015)


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