You’ve probably heard men complaining about how women are difficult to understand. Even women complain about having difficulty understanding other women, and in many cases, even themselves. This has been a topic that has interested me for years. Not just the question of why women behave the way they do sometimes, but also how this is related to society’s understanding of love and relationships. I don’t think you can look at all of these things separately because they’re all related and they all influence each other. And the issues we’re experiencing with all of them might have the same root causes. In the past I’ve written about love and about relationships. And now it’s time to look at women.
I believe that women, more than men, are the victim of the rules of our society. Stupid rules that we’ve lived by for centuries. In one of my previous posts on relationships I mentioned the following:
For hundreds and maybe even thousands of years, people have been forced and brainwashed into accepting the opposite in order to frustrate their lives and make it easier for others to control and manipulate them. And this is just one of the areas where this is the case. If you look around you, it should be more than clear that what we’ve been taught about love, and the rules we’ve been told to live by only serve to frustrate our lives, hurt our relationships and make things more difficult for us.
Women are difficult to understand because they’re constantly struggling internally with the conflict between what they have been taught about themselves and their true nature. There was a time when women thought pretty much the same way about sex as men. During that time women had (and still have, although it is suppressed) a comparable sex drive to men, and they were after sex as much as men, if not more. Sexual desire is something we all get born with naturally. It would have made no sense for nature to put a greater need or desire for sex in men compared to women. In fact, if I look at how women are naturally capable of having sex a lot more often than men (they don’t get exhausted as quickly and are able to have multiple orgasms in a very short amount of time), then I would have expected nature to have given women a greater sex drive than men. It would have made sense, seeing as how they’re biologically capable of having it more often than men.
Just like we have to eat every day to satisfy our hunger, so too do we have to satisfy our sexual urges/desires. If we don’t eat enough and on time, we become weak and sick. And in the same way, if we fail to satisfy our sexual desires adequately, we also become sick and it becomes difficult to function as a human being. It’s foolish to think that suppressing and neglecting our sexual needs won’t have an impact on us in the long term. In fact, it can and will lead to issues. And that’s exactly the problem we’re experiencing with women. You just have to look at the work of Dr. Freud where he made the connection between the suppression of sexual desires and psychological issues. Freud went so far as to say that sexual desires are the primary motivating forces of human life. So you can choose to neglect and suppress them if you want to, but not without consequences.
A long time ago some “brilliant” minds decided that they should go ahead and regulate human sexuality. The important reason why they did this was to be able to easily control, manipulate and enslave large groups of people. Today, thousands of years later, we’re still stuck with many of those rules and the system of brainwash that they’ve created for us.
From very early childhood women are being taught to suppress their sexual desires. Men too, but women a lot more so than men because apparently women can be influenced a lot easier when it comes to their sexuality. In a paper titled “Gender Differences in Erotic Plasticity: The Female Sex Drive as Socially Flexible and Responsive” by professor Roy F. Baumeister, he writes:
The gender difference in erotic plasticity suggests that women present a better prospect for achieving cultural progress than men, at least with regard to sexuality. To be sure, the differences are relative rather than absolute, but, on both individual and collective measures, there was consistent evidence that women’s sexuality can adapt and change more effectively than men’s. To the extent that the road to Utopia runs through the bedroom, social engineers may find that male inflexibility presents the greater problem whereas female plasticity represents the more promising opportunity.
So because women have a much greater erotic plasticity, meaning they can be manipulated a lot easier when it comes to their sexuality, these so called “social engineers” targeted them much more compared to men because they could more easily achieve the results they were looking for that way. And if you ask me, they were very successful. However, I don’t think they achieved “cultural progress.” On the contrary, as a result of their “social engineering” I would say that our society is a fucked up mess (scientific term).
Our whole society is set up in such a way where women are being programmed with the wrong (often contradictory) information and the wrong assumptions about life and about their sexuality. They learn these things from their parents, their family, in school, from books, television, religion, you name it. It’s all around us and there’s no escaping it. Because of this it often appears as if women have a weaker sex drive compared to men and don’t desire or think about sex as much. But this is just because women have essentially been trained and brainwashed from early childhood to suppress their sexual desires and to think differently about sex. In the worst (and I think most) cases women aren’t even consciously aware that they are suppressing their sexual desires – something that is referred to as sexual repression:
Sexual repression, also known as sexual ethics, is a state in which a person is prevented from expressing their sexuality. Sexual repression is often associated with feelings of guilt or shame being associated with sexual impulses. What constitutes sexual repression is subjective and can vary greatly between cultures and moral systems. Sigmund Freud was the first to use the term widely, and argued that it was one of the roots of many problems in western society. Freud believed that people’s naturally strong instincts toward sexuality were repressed by people in order to meet the constraints imposed on them by civilized life.
It’s not that women don’t want to have sex or have no desire for it, it’s just that they’ve been conditioned to believe that there’s a procedure that they need to follow, and certain requirements that have to be met, in order for them to have meaningful (to them) sex, and in order for society to approve of it. For example, women are taught that they should make it especially difficult for a man who’s interested in them to get closer to them. Just to give you an idea of how far this brainwashing goes, you can find this even in fairy tales that we tell our children and which they grow up with (thanks Disney!). Why is it that a prince always has to go through great difficulty before he can reach the princess? And why is it that the prince has to go through great lengths to please the princess and show a lot of patience before he can finally kiss her and/or sleep with her? Children read this and are being programmed to believe that this is how it’s supposed to be in life; that this is the process which leads to happiness in the end and that this is “romantic.” When these children become adults, these stories and experiences are what they’re going to expect from their relationships in reality. A woman then suppresses her sexual urges and waits for that one man who will go through great lengths for her to change her mind from “no,” to “yes.” It’s often the case that women know from the very beginning if they’re interested in a man or not, but playing the game is what they’re after and what makes them feel as if they’re getting the “romantic” fairy tale experience. So though they may also be interested in a guy, they’re still going to play games and not give in too quickly. This behavior causes a lot of problems. For one, reality is nothing like what they’ve been taught in fairy tales. Once the guy wins their approval and gets what he came for, the game is essentially over and “happily ever after” depends on their willingness to deal with the hard reality of maintaining a relationship. In addition, the whole fairy tale experience of relationships gets so overhyped to women that reality stands in stark contrast next to it and women inevitably get disappointed. Secondly, due to the fact that they’re making it difficult for guys to get closer to them, they often force guys to mislead them in order to get what they want. Guys will tell them what they want to hear, and do what they expect, just to get in their panties. Even if guys don’t mislead them but really go out of their way to please them, all this extra effort isn’t likely to last in the long term. It’s not hard to imagine how it ends once the guys get what they wanted. This is one of the causes of all the relationship issues we’re having today, and one of the reasons why it’s so difficult for men to approach women. When women get hurt in the end, they’ll blame it on the men, but fail to see how their own difficult behavior based on expectations that are inconsistent with reality caused a lot of the issues.
The various rules in our society also play an important role in women repressing their sexual desires. For example, a woman is expected not to give in too quickly when a guy is interested or else she may risk being labeled as too easy, or, in the worst case, a whore. Somehow society thinks it’s positive for a man to have more women (he’s a “playboy” then, enhancing his macho status), but very negative for a woman to have more men in her life (in which case she’s a whore/slut/etc.). But when it comes down to it, all these rules and assumptions in our society are essentially bullshit. None of it really matters. When you do even a little bit of research, you’ll quickly discover that these rules differ based on religion, culture, era, civilization etc. What’s considered normal now according to the rules in our society, may not have been normal a couple of hundreds of years ago, and vice versa. For example, incest was tolerated and quite normal thousands of years ago in Egypt. Today, in our society, it’s viewed differently. In some cultures it’s perfectly OK for a man to have more than one woman. In other cultures that’s a sin. People grow up with all this stupidity around them when it comes to sex, love and relationships, and in the end it shouldn’t surprise us to find that we have so many issues in these areas in our society.
After being programmed with all this stupidity from early childhood to early adulthood, it becomes very difficult to function in society when, through trial, error and experience, women start to see that reality doesn’t match with what they’ve been taught. In addition they start to realize, eventually, that a lot of what they’ve been taught about their sexuality and the many rules in our society, have served only to frustrate them and to make their lives more difficult. And it takes a lifetime for most women to deprogram themselves from these assumptions. This is why most women think and behave very different once they start reaching the age of 40 or 50. One might say that they’ve become “wiser.” But the truth is that they’ve managed to finally deprogram themselves from all the stupidity they learned in their early life by experiencing reality themselves and finding out the hard way what works and what doesn’t, and what’s real and what’s not. Unfortunately, by that time it’s also too late to go back and experience the things they’ve missed out on. While they might be wiser now, they’ve lost their youthfulness and a lot of their beauty. That, however, doesn’t stop many of them to still go out to seek younger guys in an effort to make up for lost opportunities and missed experiences.
Most guys, myself included, would prefer the mind of a woman in her 50s, in the body of a woman in her 20s. That would be a young woman freed from all the fairy tale programming, with very realistic expectations regarding potential mates and regarding life in general. Unfortunately this is fantasy in the world we live in today. And this is mostly because of all the brainwashing and rules in our society which I discussed earlier. Under normal circumstances, our current situation being abnormal, the 22 year old girl with the mind of a 50 year old woman (at least on the subject of their sexuality) would be found everywhere around us.
But let’s get back to understanding women. The answer to the question of why women are so difficult to understand is very simple: They suppress, and more often even repress, their sexual desires because of the reasons previously mentioned, which leads to various psychological issues. Dr. Freud had all the answers all along. There can be no doubt that the type of irrational behavior exhibited by women, where they are very difficult to understand and where their (often mean, angry, hostile and sometimes even violent) behavior defies all kinds of logic, is the result of psychological problems caused by the suppression or repression of their natural sexual desires and needs. Because they suppress or repress these very important needs, the lack of satisfaction in that area leads to psychological issues which manifest themselves in strange and unpredictable behavior in seemingly unrelated areas. As a result, men find it difficult to understand what’s wrong when women start to act up, and even women will often admit that they don’t understand other women or even themselves. Women will often make a big deal out of nothing, or in the best case out of something very small, leaving guys, and incredibly even themselves, to wonder where all of that is coming from. Well, now you know. It’s coming from their subconscious struggle to want to satisfy their natural sexual desires but not being able to due to the rules of society and due to the difficult and cumbersome process that they believe they must follow in order to find a mate and satisfy their needs. Most of the time, women aren’t even consciously aware of the fact that they are suppressing their sexual desires (sexual repression), which makes it a lot more difficult for them to do something about it.
Here are some of the symptoms of sexual repression:
Victorian doctors recorded all kinds of symptoms in women who were evidently suffering from some kind of sexual repression, including a nervous disposition, insomnia, irritability, faintness, heaviness in the abdomen, muscle spasms, a tendency to cause trouble, and no appetite for food. Many physicians believed that “hysteria” led to an increased likelihood of developing nervous disorders and problems with the reproductive tract.
Pay special attention to “irritability” and “a tendency to cause trouble.” Does that sound familiar? 🙂 But it gets better, what do you think the treatment was for all of these symptoms? Answer: Vaginal massages (can it get any more obvious than this? 😛 ):
Rachel P. Maines has observed that such cases were quite profitable for physicians, since the patients were at no risk of death, but needed constant treatment. The only problem was that physicians did not enjoy the tedious task of vaginal massage (generally referred to as ‘pelvic massage’): The technique was difficult for a physician to master and could take hours to achieve “hysterical paroxysm.” Referral to midwives, which had been common practice, meant a loss of business for the physician.
A solution was the invention of massage devices, which shortened treatment from hours to minutes, removing the need for midwives and increasing a physician’s treatment capacity. Already at the beginning of the 19th century, hydrotherapy devices were available at Bath, and by the mid-19th century, they were popular at many high-profile bathing resorts across Europe and in America. By 1870, a clockwork-driven vibrator was available for physicians. In 1873, the first electromechanical vibrator was used at an asylum in France for the treatment of hysteria.
While physicians of the period acknowledged that the disorder stemmed from sexual dissatisfaction, they seemed unaware of or unwilling to admit the sexual purposes of the devices used to treat it.
Thank god that vibrators (“massaging devices” LMAO) were invented or else those poor physicians would have to work a lot harder for their money. Couldn’t they just tell those women to go have (a lot more) sex? I guess not, that would mean “a loss of business” for the physicians. Better to have the women come in regularly to get “massaged.” This is a good example of how protecting the financial interests of a few often holds back important progress in our society for the many. And take a good look at the water massaging treatment for hysteria. I’d say that there are certainly more effective ways to “massage” that area of a female’s body and treat “hysteria.” This is a testament to the crazy fucked up world that we live in. You just can’t make this stuff up.
To be sure, women are not the only ones suffering from all of this. Men are too, not only directly from the rules of society themselves, but also as a result of the behavior of women caused by these rules. Women are just suffering from it a lot more than men because they’ve been the primary target. In addition, since we’re living in a male dominated society, men can get away with breaking certain rules. For women that’s nearly impossible, causing them much more stress. Our whole society is fucked up (scientific term) in a very serious way with people struggling with the psychological effects of suppressed sexual desires without them even realizing it. Many issues in our society are caused by this, a lot of them seemingly unrelated. It influences the behavior of people in a very significant way and issues caused by this show up in all parts of life. It’s also interesting to note that sexual repression can lead to perversions of desire. And there’s a lot of that in our society.
One of the biggest issues we’re having is that men and women don’t know anymore how to approach each other and this is becoming increasingly more difficult and frustrating. There are too many unrealistic expectations and too many wrong assumptions, mostly on the part of the women, when all it really comes down to in the end is simply satisfying our sexual desires. There’s a trend going on right now where both men and women are giving up and start looking for satisfaction among themselves. I see more women seeking intimacy with other women, and I see more men seeking intimacy with other men. The reason for this is that right now, there aren’t any rules and procedures in society that interfere with our natural behavior in those areas. For example, there aren’t any predefined expectations and procedures for women partnering with other women in society’s system of brainwash, as compared to when women would partner with men (there aren’t any fairy tales that tell us how a princess has to go through great lengths before she can finally kiss or sleep with the other princess… at least, not yet). For this reason it is so much easier for women to find intimacy among themselves. It’s like a huge burden gets taken off of their shoulders; all the expectations, requirements and procedures that would normally apply with men, don’t matter anymore when another woman is involved. The same is true for men. When looking for sexual satisfaction among themselves, men don’t have to expect to go through a long and cumbersome process just to have the woman change her mind from “no” to “yes” and most certainly don’t have to deal with the weird, difficult to understand female behavior as a result of psychological issues caused by their suppression of their own sexual desires.
And before I end this post, did you ever wonder what’s up with women’s seemingly insatiable desire for clothes, shoes, jewelry and related items? It’s like they can never have enough of those. By now you probably already have a pretty good idea why this is the case. But in case you don’t, here’s the answer: They’re simply compensating for their chronic lack of sexual satisfaction. Because it’s very difficult for them to satisfy their sexual desires, they try to compensate for it by focusing their attention on other things that make them feel better about themselves in order to get some kind of feeling as if they’re getting the satisfaction they need. But this never works for the long term because the root problem keeps existing, namely, their repressed sexual desires keep longing for satisfaction. So women find themselves in a situation of perpetual discontent. So by the time they get the new shoes they’ve been longing for, they’re already looking to get the next pair.
All of this is because we choose to live according to the stupid rules of our society and against nature. So can we change any of this? I’m not sure, but that won’t stop me from trying. One of the first things that we have to do to change this is to admit the problem and to start talking about it openly, which is what I’ve done here.
This really puts the “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” bullshit in a whole new light, doesn’t it? 😉
Read the other parts of this series on Understanding Women for more detailed (background) information. If you would like to skip the background information, just make sure you read parts 4 and 5 as they contain important additional information.
» Part 2
In part 2 of Understanding Women I give a more detailed explanation of some of the background information I discussed here, particularly Dr. Freud’s theories and how they explain a lot of the issues we’re currently dealing with in societies around the world. This system of female sexual repression is kept in place on purpose by the few in order to control and manipulate the many. Read part II ».
» Part 3
» Part 4
In part 4 of Understanding Women I discuss how women would normally behave if this system of female sexual repression didn’t exist in societies around the world. I also discuss Iceland as an example of a society where women behave very close to normal. Read part IV ».
» Part 5
Everything comes together in part 5 of Understanding Women, where I discuss the thoughts of Nikola Tesla, one of the greatest minds in human history, on the subject of women. I also discuss research done recently at the University of Michigan that shows that men and normal women do not differ much when it comes to their sexuality. I also answer an important question that kept Dr. Freud busy for most of his life: What does a woman want? Read part V ».