Author Lucy-Anne Holmes explains how she managed to reclaim her sexuality in an article published on The Guardian titled “‘I wanted to explore my own pleasure’ – how I rebooted my sex life” (May 18th 2019). It’s an interesting read and confirms many of the things I’ve been blogging about for years now regarding the suppression and repression of female sexuality in societies around the world.
I was on one of the big free porn sites and I saw something that disturbed me. […] I turned my computer off and thought about my niece, 13 at the time, perhaps soon to be exploring her sexuality and ending up visiting a site like this. It made me sad. This was the sex we were giving our young women and men, and there didn’t seem to be much alternative.
But then I considered myself. I was hardly raising sex to some divine art form, sat there alone with my laptop in bed. In my 35 years, I felt I’d never really got to grips with sex. […] I wanted to break sex down to put it back together again, learn how and where I liked to be touched, and similarly how to touch a man. I was a bit terrified of the penis, not really sure what I was supposed to do with it.
This is a pattern I keep noticing, also based on my own experience with women. Due to sexual suppression starting from early childhood, men and women have little chance to experiment with their sexuality during childhood; it’s often “illegal” and they’re even punished for it. As a consequence, when they become adults they don’t know how to handle their own sexuality, let alone that of their partners. This can continue to be a problem even in later adult life and many people struggle with it all their life. Especially women suffer from this issue because they’ve historically been the primary target of sexual suppression in society; they don’t know how to experience sexual pleasure — are even afraid of it — and often find it difficult to orgasm. Many women even go on to develop more extreme and perverted sexual preferences (rape fantasies, bondage etc.) due to sexual suppression.
As Holmes further mentions:
[…] I needed a lot of alcohol for courage and found it hard to give a handjob while holding a book. I struggled with taking the lead […] when it came to men I was insecure, drunk and frequently hysterical. I looked back on my sexual experiences to date and realised I was incapable of asking for what I wanted in bed (and not so great out of it, to be fair). I also finally admitted just how much I hated, truly hated, my body, the very vessel I wanted to give me pleasure. It dawned on me that I had been raised to be pretty and passive.
Like I explained in my article on “Understanding Women”, women are raised to be passive and to wait for men to make the first move, so what Holmes explains in the above quote is no surprise. And they are programmed by society to make it especially difficult for a man to win them over. Like the brilliant psychoanalyst Dr. Wilhelm Reich discovered during his research, sexual suppression and repression generally have the purpose of making both men and women dumber, passive and docile, so that they become incapable of standing up to “authority” and consequently can easily be manipulated and enslaved. An individual with sexual freedom is a lot more difficult to tame and control, as Holmes further explains based on her own experience:
Perhaps the richest gift my sexual adventure gave me was empowerment. […] With my new sense of freedom and power I stood up to the Sun over Page 3, starting a petition that grew into a national campaign and was (after two-and-a-half years) ultimately successful. The insecure woman I was before my sexual capering would never have had the confidence to stand up publicly on an issue like that. I would say it altered every aspect of my life for the better.
This is why the elite who’re in control of the current anti-social system of enslavement promote sexual suppression and repression in society. That’s why this system of enslavement that we live in and refer to as ‘civilization’, was founded on the basis of sexual repression as Dr. Sigmund Freud was well aware of. Sexual suppression and repression are the foundation of our enslavement.
I learned that my sexuality is just that: mine. I think before, in my passivity, I had been waiting for someone else to unlock it or give me what I thought I needed. Previously I’d just taken it for granted that I was the problem. My body was wrong, I was wrong. So caught up in my shame and failings, I hadn’t stepped back to see that society’s teachings around sex were pretty rotten.
Indeed as I’ve explained before in my article series on “Understanding Women”, society’s sexual repression brainwash not only makes women doubt their own bodies and feelings, but it even makes them believe the complete opposite of what they’re feeling. You can clearly see this in the below video (also available on Archive.org).
Holmes’ advice at the end is worth repeating:
I thoroughly recommend taking yourself off on a little sexual odyssey. For women, I would say there is almost an imperative to do so if we can. Our sexuality has been suppressed and controlled for so long, it becomes radical to reclaim it on our own terms. Just shine a little light on this area of your life and ask yourself what it is you would like to experience. And do take time to touch yourself with tenderness. We are so hard on our bodies, we push and berate them, yet we rarely give them loving touch they deserve.
She’s absolutely correct when she states that female sexuality has been suppressed and controlled for a long time; it’s been that way for thousands of years now. I go into much more detail on this in my article “Sexual Suppression and Repression I: Definition and Origin”.