This article is about a year old, but I just recently came across it and it’s another example of how fucked up and twisted society really is. The article was published by The Sun and is titled “Women cheat because they LOVE their husbands… and it’s more about orgasms than intimacy (says woman who spent a year interviewing female cheats)” (June 13th 2018). Here are some quotes:
Professor Alicia Walker found frustrated women think affairs make them ‘better wives’ – and do it to ‘save’ their marriage. Of over 50 cheaters the Missouri State University professor spoke to, only three wanted out of their marriages – while most women thought the affairs made them BETTER wives.
Speaking exclusively to Fabulous Online, Alicia, 47, revealed: “More than half of the women I talked to (26 to be precise) said, ‘I’m in a sexless marriage or I’m not having orgasms, and that’s why I’m cheating’. They made no bones about it. It wasn’t ‘I had an affair and I fell in love’. It was very much this calculated, deliberate decision to get what they were missing from their marriages, which for them was orgasms, and they were really cheating to stay married which was quite surprising. They all said ‘I’ve been in this marriage, it’s been like this for years, so either I cheat and I get someone to get me the orgasms I need, or I’m going to leave my husband’. […] A lot of these women had not had sex with their husbands in years, some of them decades, so a sex desert if you will.”
Cheating to stay married isn’t that surprising when you know that women are often choosing to stay married for economic and social (or “cultural”) reasons. Quite often they can’t support themselves financially and are dependent, or their culture doesn’t easily allow them to separate from their partners (there may be familial or other kinds of social repercussions). I discuss this in more detail in my post “Why getting married is a very bad idea”. In that post I also discuss how lust eventually always wears out between two people, especially in exclusive relationships such as marriage. It’s just a matter of time before people get bored of each other and stop having intercourse in such relationships. These facts have been known for centuries and it’s a tragedy that people are still being brainwashed by society to get tied up in exclusive relationships when the negative consequences of doing so are known.
“Some of the stories were kind of heartbreaking. One of the women said her husband had some kind of health issue. She talked a lot about how painful it was, because she was so in love with him, and he was really the sexual partner she wanted. But eventually she grew very resentful, even though she’d tell herself that’s totally illogical. He’s not choosing this, this is his health.”
It has also been known for centuries that people eventually grow to become very resentful in exclusive relationships such as marriage. And it’s not just because of not having intercourse anymore; it can be because of any kind of (perceived) limitations being imposed by the other partner. While living together, trapped in an exclusive relationship, people have to make all kinds of compromises and personal sacrifices — big and small — and eventually it adds up and people start to get resentful and rebellious towards their partners. This is a certainty and just a matter of time. Again, I go into this in more detail in my post “Why getting married is a very bad idea”.
In this specific example of the husband having “some kind of health issue”, that wouldn’t be a problem for the woman had they not chosen to tie each other in an exclusive relationship and treat each other like exclusive property (slaves). Had they chosen to stay free, independent individuals instead, they would have been able to spend time together while they would both be free to do things with other people that they can’t do with each other. There would be no need to lie about it either.
“Most of the women said ‘I love my husband’. They talked about what great fathers they were, and what great people they were, and how great of a friend. So for them it was ‘either I leave my marriage, I take my kids from my husband, I break my husband’s heart and maybe my own and be single’, or I do this and keep my family together. The bulk of the women said the orgasms come first, but they also talked about how it really enabled them to be better wives and better mothers, because the strain of going without their sexual needs being met had been lifted.”
Not having regular orgasms can be extremely detrimental for a person’s physical and mental health especially when there’s is a long term chronic lack thereof. The brilliant psychoanalyst Dr. Wilhelm Reich did lots of research on this which you can read about in his book “The Function of the Orgasm”. People become very irrational (emotional), resentful, mean, sadistic and eventually even violent, because of the internal buildup of sexual energy which cannot get released. So it’s no surprise that the women mention becoming “better wives and better mothers” when they can have orgasms.
If men and women could just have a daily orgasm and be fondled everyday, then all the wars and terrible violence of humanity could be avoided. Only the liberation of the natural capacity for love in human beings can master their sadistic destructiveness. Wilhelm Reich
In the final analysis, these women are not cheating because they supposedly love their husbands; they’re cheating because of selfish reasons and because they don’t understand what love is. If they understood what love is, they would know that lying to their husbands in these cases has nothing to do with love. In fact, if they really understood what love is, they would never have chosen to tie another person in an exclusive relationship with them, essentially treating the other person like their exclusive property — a resource to live off of; a slave.
These women don’t even love themselves, for if they did, they would never willingly allow themselves to become another person’s property, limiting their own choices and curtailing their own freedom in an exclusive relationship. A person who loves themselves, and thus has enough self-respect, would never choose to get into such a situation, let alone stay in one. And if you don’t understand how to love yourself, how will you be able to love another person?
For anyone who wants to learn about what love really is, my post “The Difference between Love and Lust” can help you understand it better and hopefully you may be able to prevent yourself from ruining your life and getting into situations such as the ones discussed above. For ideas of how you can have healthier relationships with other people, check out my post “Relationships of the Future”.