Dead Horse Theory
I found the Dead Horse Theory meme in my collection and wanted to share it here to remind myself and everyone else about the important lesson that it teaches. You’ll probably immediately recognize all the politicians and bureaucrats of the world in this and the stupidity that is common in governments.
Dead Horse Theory
The tribal wisdom of the Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that, “When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.” However, in modern business, education and government, far more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
- Buying a stronger whip.
- Changing riders.
- Threatening the horse with termination.
- Appointing a committee to study the horse.
- Arranging to visit other countries to see how others ride dead horses.
- Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
- Re-classifying the dead horse as ‘living-impaired’.
- Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
- Harnessing several dead horses together to increase the speed.
- Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse’s performance.
- Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse’s performance.
- Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and, therefore, contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
- Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
- Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position of hiring another horse.
And here are some more:
- Assert that the horse is moving — just very slowly, in a direction we don’t yet understand.
- Accuse anyone suggesting dismounting of being ‘anti-horse.’
- Create a new department dedicated solely to explaining why the horse isn’t dead.
- Blame the rider for having a “negative mindset.”
- Introduce mandatory optimism training for anyone who notices the horse isn’t moving.
- Install motivational posters in the stable.
- Hold weekly meetings to align on why the horse’s death is actually an opportunity.
- Replace the saddle with a more ergonomic one.
- Roll out a pilot program to test whether the horse works better on Mondays.
- Commission a 200-page report concluding more data is needed.
- Declare the horse a legacy system that cannot be replaced.
- Announce that the horse is dead by design.
Are you currently riding dead horses?
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