What strong men look for in a woman

Wedding Couple (Photo © lyubenov.com)

Wedding Couple (Photo © lyubenov.com)

Today I read an article on The Huffington Post where the author points out that, these days, strong men are increasingly more often looking for a strong, independent and intelligent woman:

Men are finding the most attractive and sexually desirable women are not brainless beauties whose sole function is to look good and stay quiet, but women who are making good money and are in positions of power. The woman who got ahead on her looks by marrying a “sugar daddy” is now being replaced by the woman who is equal to her man in earning power and career position. That’s sexy.

Says Dr. [Stephen] Juan: “A really strong man wants a woman who is equal to him, that is the truth of it now. A weak man wants someone that is docile and a servant to him — it is a real sign of insecurity in a man to want a brainless trophy wife. Wives can be beautiful, intelligent and have careers and opinions just as strong as their partners.”

The days of a well-off older man who has a brainless beauty on his arm at social functions seems to be a deal out of Mad Men. Educated, intelligent women are the ones most sought-after by men of the same caliber. Brains are the new beauty.

However, the article also assumes that strong men want to marry such women, and I think that this is wrong and contradicting.

Really strong men do NOT want to get married to a single woman for the rest of their life; they know that’s a very bad idea. Only a weak man would want to tie a woman into an exclusive relationship with him (including marriage), so that he can make her dependent, control her and pretend to own her. That’s a real sign of insecurity in a man.

On the contrary, a strong man is confident enough to let a woman stay a separate, free and independent human being, who is free to spend time with whomever she wants, whenever she wants, and is completely free to live her life the way she wants. And this is because a strong man knows how to truly love a woman; he respects her right to life and her basic needs as a human being (click here to fully understand what this means).

A strong man knows that if a strong woman truly desires to spend time with him, he won’t have to waste his time putting unnatural amounts of effort into convincing her to do so; she will say so herself and ask for his time. Yes, strong, independent and intelligent women know what they want and don’t like to play games — they’re very clear and direct and actively pursue their desires.

A strong man also knows that a strong woman will stick around all by herself because of what he has to offer her (his personality, intellect, intimacy etc. — nothing materialistic). And when a woman loses her interest in him — which is bound to happen eventually (read here why) — a strong man can easily move on because he knows that there are many more interesting women out there (and he may even have already been enjoying their company simultaneously).

In fact, a strong man never limits himself to one woman; he simultaneously enjoys the company of as many women as he desires in his life. A strong man knows that variety is key to living an enjoyable and fulfilling life (read here why). And he also knows that strong women will readily acknowledge this simple fact of life, as they themselves also need variety in their own lives as well.

The article also mentions the following:

To paraphrase Henry Kissinger, a powerful man who married Nancy Maginnes, a powerful woman: “Power, success and financial security are the ultimate aphrodisiacs”.

I disagree with that as well. That statement may be true in the sick world we currently live in, but I think that the ultimate aphrodisiacs are independence, intelligence, compassion and the ability to truly love. This will only become more so in the future.

The Difference between Love and Lust

Touch my hand, feel my soul

Touch my hand, feel my soul

There’s a lot of confusion in societies around world when it comes to the word love and its meaning. Probably everyone has their own idea about what love is, and as I’ll show below, most people simply confuse lust with love. This makes it very difficult to have a consistent discussion when it comes to topics concerning love. I often write about love and related topics, and in order to keep a level of consistency in my posts on this subject, I want to establish my definitions for love and lust based on my personal research so far.
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Put your money where your mouth is

What is legal isn't always right, and what is right isn't always legal.

What is legal isn’t always right, and what is right isn’t always legal.

Lately I’ve been getting asked more often about why I invest so much time into writing articles here on my blog and why I’m even investing money in advertising my blog when I’m not making any money from it. These questions reveal how the large majority of people still appear to think these days, namely that it’s not such a good idea to be investing time and money into anything that doesn’t personally benefit you or give you something in return.

For example, when I wrote my article series on Understanding Women, people asked me why I put so much time into that, because it’s not going to improve anything for me personally in the short term. And my answer to that was that I wasn’t doing it for my personal benefit. I fully realize that any substantial change in a positive direction resulting from my writing probably won’t come until much later when I’m not around anymore or when I’m not able to personally benefit from it anymore. But I do know that the younger and future generations will most certainly benefit from all the efforts we put into trying to improve the world today.

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The prophecy of the Eagle and the Condor

Peace

Peace

There’s a prophecy that is shared among a great number of distinct cultures all over the world involving the Eagle, representing the masculine, and the Condor, representing the feminine. It’s unclear what the original source of this prophecy is, but it is generally agreed that it goes back many thousands of years. Throughout the years there have been some changes to some of the details in the prophecy in some cultures, but the overall theme stayed the same.

Basically it is said that thousands of years ago, the human race was divided into two groups, a masculine group, represented by the Eagle, and a feminine group represented by the Condor. This division would be the cause of many problems within the human race and around the world. However, it was foretold that a time would come when the Eagle and the Condor would get the opportunity to get back together again and fly together in the sky as equals bringing balance and peace. It would be a time of spiritual reunion, when the sacred masculine and the sacred feminine would be connected again, and the human race would connect back with nature. It’s also amazing that all the different sources of this prophecy point at the time we’re living in right now as being the moment when this reunion will happen.

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Why getting married is a very bad idea

Take my hand, for you belong to me

Take my hand, for you belong to me

Marriage as we know it today has its roots in slavery. This may come to you as a surprise, especially if you’re heavily influenced by all the brainwash in our current authoritarian societies around the world, that promote marriage as an ideal form of a relationship between a man and a woman. But if people truly realized where the concept of marriage comes from and what its real purpose is, I’m sure that they would be repulsed by it. Especially women are being brainwashed from very early childhood to not only accept the concept of marriage, but to even long for it and regard it as one of the most important goals in their lives for achieving happiness. This is the tragedy of the reality in which we live in today, where people are being conditioned not only to accept, but to actually desire their own enslavement. It’s a reality where people willingly accept a way of life that works against them on almost all levels, and that allows a small elite to easily control and exploit them.

Marriage isn’t something that’s natural; it’s an artificial and social construct. A very long time ago, there was complete equality between men and women in ancient cultures, and there was no concept of marriage. In fact there are cultures that still exist today where there’s no marriage, such as the Mosuo culture in the Chinese Himalaya. Imagine getting born and living in such a culture where there was no concept of marriage. In such a situation you would grow up and become an adult without having even the slightest notion about having to get married and tying yourself to a single partner for the rest of your life.

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Carl Jung on Sigmund Freud’s Sexual Theories

Dr. Sigmund Freud

Dr. Sigmund Freud

People sometimes mention during discussions, the fact that Carl Jung had issues with Sigmund Freud’s sexual theories, implying that Freud’s theories are somehow not valid, or at the very least, that we should not put too much weight on them. So in this post I want to briefly take a look at this.

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Why courtship and dating are a waste of time

Blind Desire

Blind Desire

With the exception of a few societies in European countries such as Iceland, there’s this notion in societies around the world that people have to go through an elaborate game of courtship before they can be together more intimately. As I have previously discussed in my article series on Understanding Women, this isn’t something that’s natural; it was enforced on humankind thousands of years ago as part of a set of measures that would promote sexual suppression and repression in society. [1]

When it comes to courtship — and for the purposes of this post I’ll treat dating as a form of courtship — people generally expect men to pursue women. There are elaborate procedures established in society that men need to follow in order to impress and convince women to allow men to get closer and intimate with them. And women are being brainwashed from early childhood that they must make it especially difficult for a man to win them over; the more difficult they make it for men, the less “easy” or “slutty” they are perceived by society; the harder a man tries, the more “romantic” it is. But research has shown that this is all part of “traditional gender-stereotyped, and culturally bound, social scripts.” In other words, it’s based on stupid and made-up rules that exist in society and has absolutely nothing to do with the natural behavior of men and women. And as I mentioned previously, Iceland is a good example of a society where these stupid dating rules don’t exist and where it’s completely normal for women to pursue men, and for men and women to get intimate with each other on the first meeting. [2]

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The right to be forgotten? What about the right to remember?

Graph of the Internet

A graph of the Internet showing the millions of connections between computers. Source: Opte.org

Very often there are certain developments in the world that just make me blankly stare in front of me and go “Wow…” while my mind desperately tries to cope with the astronomical amounts of stupidity it’s suddenly being confronted with.

Such was the experience I had when I first read about “the right to be forgotten” — a concept that’s based on the European Data Protection Directive meant to regulate the processing of personal data. Judges in the European Court of Justice used that directive to justify an individual’s request to remove publicly available — and lawfully obtained and published — personal information. Without a doubt those judges have got to be some of the most stupid people on this planet.

I seriously wonder if they asked themselves how such a ruling could realistically be implemented and what kind of dangerous and far reaching consequences this would have for civilization in the future. This ruling actually gives people the ability to start censoring history. How could anyone in their right mind think that this is a good idea? Obviously the only people who would want such a thing are those who want negative facts about themselves, or the crimes they’ve committed in the past, erased from history. And ironically those cases have only received even more exposure online precisely because of the request that they be forgotten. In the case of Mario Costeja González, I’m sure that everyone now knows that his house had been auctioned in 1998 to recover his social security debts, because of all the publicity it’s now getting:

The test case privacy ruling by the European Union’s court of justice against Google Spain was brought by a Spanish man, Mario Costeja González, after he failed to secure the deletion of an auction notice of his repossessed home dating from 1998 on the website of a mass circulation newspaper in Catalonia.

Costeja González argued that the matter, in which his house had been auctioned to recover his social security debts, had been resolved and should no longer be linked to him whenever his name was searched on Google.

Way to go, you fucking moron. Now the whole world knows about what you tried to hide, plus you’ve created a precedent for allowing the censorship of history. Thanks a lot.

Here are some more examples of how this stupid “right to be forgotten” concept is being abused:

When you Google someone from within the EU, you no longer see what the search giant thinks is the most important and relevant information about an individual. You see the most important information the target of your search is not trying to hide.

Stark evidence of this fact, the result of a European court ruling that individuals had the right to remove material about themselves from search engine results, arrived in the Guardian’s inbox this morning, in the form of an automated notification that six Guardian articles have been scrubbed from search results.

The first six articles down the memory hole – there will likely be many more as the rich and powerful look to scrub up their online images, doubtless with the help of a new wave of “reputation management” firms – are a strange bunch.

Three of the articles, dating from 2010, relate to a now-retired Scottish Premier League referee, Dougie McDonald, who was found to have lied about his reasons for granting a penalty in a Celtic v Dundee United match, the backlash to which prompted his resignation.

Anyone entering the fairly obvious search term “Dougie McDonald Guardian” into google.com – the US version of Google – will see three Guardian articles about the incident as their first results.

Type the exact same phrase into Google.co.uk, however, and the articles have vanished entirely. McDonald’s record is swept clean.

It’s like Index on Censorship mentioned:

The court’s ruling means that, under certain circumstances, information can be removed from search engine results even if it is true and factual and without the original source material being altered. It allows individuals to complain to search engines about information they do not like with no legal oversight. This is akin to marching into a library and forcing it to pulp books. Although the ruling is intended for private individuals it opens the door to anyone who wants to whitewash their personal history.

By placing the onus on search engines to prevent dissemination of information, the Court has said that an individual’s desires outweigh society’s interest in the complete facts around incidents.

The ruling goes against the finding last year of the EU advocate general who said there was no “right to be forgotten”.

The Court’s decision is a retrograde move that misunderstands the role and responsibility of search engines and the wider internet. It should send chills down the spine of everyone in the European Union who believes in the crucial importance of free expression and freedom of information.

Today it’s search engines and websites that are impacted by this stupid “right to be forgotten” ruling, but what will happen in the future when technology becomes so advanced that it becomes possible to erase certain information directly from people’s own memories? Would such a law still be enforced? What if the future that Dr. Ray Kurzweil envisions, where an individual can choose to store some of his memory in the cloud, becomes reality? Would the company behind the cloud storage service be marked as a “data controller” under the European Data Protection Directive, and be forced to delete people’s memories?

Before approving such a boneheaded “right to be forgotten” concept, did the people responsible think about everyone’s right to remember? I think everyone’s personal and collective right to remember information that became publicly available, certainly stands above any individual’s right to be forgotten. A single individual’s personal right to be forgotten can never outweigh our collective personal rights to remember!! And our right to remember doesn’t only involve the biological capabilities of our bodies, but also any technology that can be used to assist and augment our capabilities to remember, including any external databases and other files that help us to remember things. These can be personally maintained by an individual or by a third party for groups of individuals. And remembering isn’t just limited to the information an individual previously had in his own consciousness, but also includes information in our collective human consciousness that’s just now starting to come online — the Global Brain.

Without this right to remember humankind would never have gotten where it is today, and indeed, it’s precisely because of this right and capability to remember, and especially the fact that we can now enhance our capabilities to quickly and efficiently remember using technology (such as Google’s search engine, Wikipedia etc. — the Global Brain in short), that we’ve gotten into a position now where we can start to solve many of the problems we’ve been struggling with for thousands of years. The “right to be forgotten” concept not only has the potential to stiffen the progress we’ve been making, but also to do serious damage to the progress we’ve already made.

Fortunately it does seem like there are enough intelligent people still around who see the absurdity of the “right to be forgotten”. The House of Lords EU Home Affairs, Health and Education Sub-Committee of the UK parliament recently had the following to say about this:

“The expression, ‘right to be forgotten’ is misleading. Information can be made more difficult to access, but it does not just disappear. Anyone anywhere in the world now has information at the touch of a button, and that includes detailed personal information about people in all countries of the globe. Neither the 1995 Directive, nor the CJEU’s interpretation of it, reflects the incredible advance in technology that we see today.

We believe that the judgment of the Court is unworkable. It does not take into account the effect the ruling will have on smaller search engines which, unlike Google, are unlikely to have the resources to process the thousands of removal requests they are likely to receive.

It is also wrong in principle to leave search engines themselves the task of deciding whether to delete information or not, based on vague, ambiguous and unhelpful criteria. We heard from witnesses how uncomfortable they are with the idea of a commercial company sitting in judgment on issues like that.

There are compelling arguments that, in the new Regulation, search engines should not be classed as data controllers. We do not believe that individuals should be able to have links to accurate and lawfully available information about them removed, simply because they do not like what is said.

It is incredibility difficult for legislation to keep up or ‘future proof’ the unforeseen leaps that technology is bound to make.  We do, however, need to ensure that the next Regulation does not attempt to give individuals rights which are unenforceable.” 

Wikipedia’s founder, Jimmy Wales, has also spoken out against this absurd ruling by the European Court of Justice:

Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales today warned the ruling was tantamount to “censoring history” and “the start of a “very dangerous path to go down”.

[…]

“I would say the biggest problem we have is that the law seems to indicate Google needs to censor links to information that is clearly public – links to articles in legally published, truthful news stories.

“That is a very dangerous path to go down, and if we want to go down a path where we are going to be censoring history, there is no way we should leave a private company like Google in charge of making those decisions.”

It’s also important to note that Google themselves aren’t happy with the ruling:

Google said: “This is a disappointing ruling for search engines and online publishers in general. We are very surprised that it differs so dramatically from the advocate general’s opinion and the warnings and consequences that he spelled out. We now need to take time to analyse the implications.”

It will be interesting to see how this unfolds. Like Wales said, this is a very dangerous path to go down, and I think that the ruling by the European Court of Justice must be reversed as soon as possible.

Why I never want to get rich

Together we fly

Together we fly

I never want to get rich. In fact, I think that if you’re rich you should be ashamed of yourself. And not only should you be ashamed of yourself, but you should also be very worried about the kind of person you’ve likely become.

When I mention to people that I never want to get rich, I always get a reaction of surprise from them, followed by the question of why not. It seems that in the world we live in today, most people are constantly looking for ways to earn more money and get richer, even if they already have enough to cover their basic needs and live a decent life. And this is one of the consequences of the societies we have around the world right now, where people are constantly encouraged to compete with one another. In these societies a person’s success in life is measured by how wealthy he is, instead of how valuable he is to the people around him and to society in general.

For example, an aunt of mine mentioned to an acquaintance a few years ago that I’m a very good software engineer. And her acquaintance responded by saying that in that case I should have already been owning a car. I didn’t own a car back then, and I still don’t. However, I was making enough money to buy myself a car if I wanted to, but it just wasn’t something that I felt I really needed to own. I like to live as minimally and simple as possible, and so far it’s always been more convenient and cost efficient for me to take a taxi, or in very rare instances to rent a car. But this example just goes to show you how people measure success these days. If you don’t show your wealth by spending lots of money, or by showing on social media channels how extraordinary your life is and where you’re traveling to all the time, or by wearing a lot of expensive clothes (preferably only once in public), or by owning a very big and expensive house that could be home to 2-4 families, or by owning a lot of expensive items that you rarely need, then you’re probably not successful.

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Nick Hanauer: You’re missing the point on inequality

Homeless Man (Photo © Matthew Woitunski)

Homeless Man (Photo © Matthew Woitunski)

Billionaire Nick Hanauer published an article recently on Politico warning his fellow “filthy rich Americans” that “the pitchforks are coming.” In his article, Hanauer discussed the inequality in America that’s getting worse every day:

At the same time that people like you and me are thriving beyond the dreams of any plutocrats in history, the rest of the country—the 99.99 percent—is lagging far behind. The divide between the haves and have-nots is getting worse really, really fast. In 1980, the top 1 percent controlled about 8 percent of U.S. national income. The bottom 50 percent shared about 18 percent. Today the top 1 percent share about 20 percent; the bottom 50 percent, just 12 percent.

But the problem isn’t that we have inequality. Some inequality is intrinsic to any high-functioning capitalist economy. The problem is that inequality is at historically high levels and getting worse every day. Our country is rapidly becoming less a capitalist society and more a feudal society. Unless our policies change dramatically, the middle class will disappear, and we will be back to late 18th-century France. Before the revolution.

And so I have a message for my fellow filthy rich, for all of us who live in our gated bubble worlds: Wake up, people. It won’t last.

While I am certainly pleasantly surprised by Hanauer’s apparent courage to openly disagree with his fellow billionaires — who “think he’s bonkers” — on the problem of inequality, his motivations for wanting to change the way things are going right now could have been much better. As Hanauer himself states, “the problem isn’t inequality” but it’s that “it is at historically high levels.” So Hanauer doesn’t have a problem with inequality per se; it’s just that it’s getting a little too extreme now. And these high levels of inequality threaten his empire and his (way of) life. So Hanauer’s motivation is fear. He fears the pitchforks that are coming, and rightfully so.

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