It’s white. White everywhere. All around, and as far as one can see. It’s just white empty space. Empty and quiet. Somewhere in this white empty space stands a throne, and on this throne sits a rather old looking man in long white robes. His right elbow rests on the throne, while his chin rests in his right hand. His left hand rests on the left side of the throne, tapping his fingers on the golden arm rest. His long white beard reaches all the way to his feet. He looks bored and tired. He sighs deeply.
Years go by.
The old man slightly adjusts himself on the throne. Suddenly there is a loud knocking sound, the sound of someone knocking on a door.
“Who is it?” asks the old man.
“It’s me, Satan.”
“Again??” asks the old man.
“What do you mean? It’s been 1000 years!” Satan replies.
“Has it been that long?”
“Apparently not.” Satan replies, sounding a little irritated.
“You may enter.” says the old man.
Somewhere in the white emptiness a door opens. Black smoke and fire escapes into the white emptiness as Satan enters, closing the door behind him.
“Well, well, well, how are things?” asks Satan as he walks towards the throne, looking around like it was the first time he visited. “Have you done some redecorating? This place looks a little different.”
“I’m not in the mood, Satan.” says the old man.
“Well, okay then.” Satan replies. “I just witnessed this incredible display of fireworks as I crashed a comet into earth, you should have seen it!! Fire, death, destruction, it was awesome! Millions of people annihilated!”
“Jesus, what have you done!?!” exclaims the old man.
“You called, father?” Jesus replies, while closing the door behind him.
“Erhm no, no. But have you heard what Satan has been up to??”
“No I didn’t have a chance with all those harps playing at my place, it’s driving me nuts.” Jesus replies.
Satan chuckles. “Well as I was saying, Jehovah, may I call you Jovy? Anyway, Jovy, it was spectacular. Me and the demons, we just sat there enjoying it. And you sat here looking bored, you should have tuned in, you might have enjoyed the entertainment.”
Jehovah adjusts himself on his throne. “Satan, I’m getting really tired of all this nonsense. I’m telling you, one of these days..”
“One of these days, what?? Nothing! You should thank me for the work I’m doing. I’m actually bringing your dull work to life for you.”
“Life?? Life!!??” exclaims Jehovah. “You’re destroying everything!!”
“You’re just being jealous again Jovy, I’m tellin’ ya, you need help man.” Satan says, while he hits Jehovah on his right upper arm a few times. “Do you know what your problem is? I’m winning. That’s your problem! There’s no way you’re going to win Jovy, you’re going down.”
Jehovah’s fingers fold into his hands as he makes fists, his lips tremble and his eyes narrow.
“Father, no.” Jesus calmly says.
Jehovah turns to Jesus. “Leave us.”
“As you wish father, I’ll be over in my room listening to some music. It’s not like I have any other choice.” Jesus replies, while he walks away.
“Why don’t you let me send you one of my bands? Rock, heavy metal, techno, the works! Better than listening to harps for eternity!”
“No thanks, Satan. I’ll be just fine.” Jesus replies as he exits the white emptiness.
“Jovy, darling, you really have to do something about that son of yours, I mean, look at him! Sitting all by himself listening to harps for eternity? Bro, that’s just wrong. Allow the man to do more exciting things!”
“Satan, like all other beings I have created, including you, sadly, I have given him free will. He can make whatever choices he likes. If he wants to join you in Hell and party, it has to be his decision.”
“Riiiiiiiight. You can take your free will and cram it you know where. Let me tell you something Jovy, what’s the use of free will, and to be able to make choices, when you come in and basically say if you make the wrong choice you’ll end up doomed?? Hmm?? Hmm?? Do we really have a choice when you for example give us two options, of which you immediately state that choosing one of them will result in eternal pain and suffering?”
“Silence!!” Jehovah yells. “And don’t call me Jovy! Listen, Satan, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Something I haven’t told or confirmed to anyone else before, not even my son.”
“Okay, this should be interesting.” Satan replies, looking very interested in what Jehovah had to say.
“Satan, tell me, have you read the bible recently?”
“Aaaw come on!!? You don’t expect moi to read that nonsense, do you??” Satan replies.
“Well I guess not. But you see, Satan, everything I?ve created, everything in this place, is bound to rules. And everything follows a certain plan. And ofcourse, there’s nothing anyone can do to change that plan, or the outcome of that plan.”
“mmmmkay…so what are you trying to say?”
“So if you would take the time” Jehovah says, while throwing Satan a copy of the bible, “to read the last chapters of the bible, you would see that your destruction is inevitable. And there’s nothing you can do about it, really. You’re destined to lose.”
“What?!” exclaimed Satan, while he pages through the last 100 pages of the bible. Satan’s eyes widen, his eyebrows frown deeply and his mouth slowly opens while he reads.
“Jesus Christ!!!” Satan screams indignantly while the bible burns up in his hands.
“I’m busy!!” Jesus yells from his room.
“You looked surprised, Satan.” Jehovah calmly says.
“Why wasn’t I told of this before?? And what is the meaning of all of this? Why are we having this contest if it’s already known that I will lose in the end?! This is not fair!” Satan complains.
“Yes, yes, and you would know.” Jehovah replies sarcastically.
Satan starts walking back and forth, chewing on his fingernails looking very concerned. “All this hard work for nothing? What am I going to say to the demons? This is terrible! They’re going to lynch my ass! This is not good, this is not good!!”
“It never has been, Satan.” Jehovah replies.
“You’ll be hearing from me again! You’re not getting away with this!” Satan yells as he opens a door out of thin air and walks into the black smoke and fire, closing the door behind him.
Jehovah chuckles, rests his chin on his right hand again and starts tapping with his fingers on the left arm rest of his throne.
Many years go by.
Jehovah yawns, and slightly changes his finger tapping rhythm.
Decades go by.
It’s white and empty everywhere, and very quiet.