Thank you for the post.. was usefull.
R.

Thank you for this post – I’ve been going through this same thing just today with someone I really care about and have been wondering whether it is this ‘true love’. The girl I really like is someone I’ve got to know whilst at university and we cook together, get along great, have a laugh, share the same values, get along with the families and even though we have our ups and downs it seems a little too good to be true. Well as I am posting on here… it actually was :p

She in fact has liked someone for quite a few years but as this particular person didn’t make a move – someone new came into the picture and within two week he’s stolen her heart for the first time in her life – she’s finally going on her first dates and is in her first relationship. I obviously was quite upset to start with as this wasn’t me but I couldn’t help feeling this sense of elation and this sense of joy in a way. As much as it hurt and pained me to think that I couldn’t share the memories with her – and knew that the last time we went out would be the last time ever, I still showed her the most special place to me so that she could take this new guy there and have memories of her own just so she would be happy.

I felt so bad telling her how I felt – and it didn’t come out in the way I expected, I merely said to her that I wanted her to be happy and with whoever that was and just wanted her to be happy even if that meant sacraficing a little for myself as that’s all i’ve ever wanted – obviously she’s definitely not stupid – and everything came out and I felt so bad that she had togo through having this said to her (two others have said it in the past to her and one she didn’t follw up with and he just left the friendship, and the other she didn’t see in the same way – he left the friendship) and she doesn’t want to lose ours – well that’s what she says and I agree – to be fair one piece of advice I can give – how much do you value this person in your life – this particular girl has changed the way I think, the way I am, the positivity I share and the energy I create around me, I feel on top of the world having her even as a friend in my life – think would you really want to make that person upset?

I’m actually so hurt at the moment as it’s a low point in my life – but what keeps me going is to know that she’ll share her first kiss, her first date and her first relationship and those feelings with someone she wants to share them with and she’s finally taking control of her life and being the person she wants to be and not putting her life on hold. She’s happy, she’s having fun and who am I, how dare I come in the way to stop that or spoil that – instead i’ve taken the step to tell her, and let her know how I feel – she doesn’t feel the same way and she wouldn’t – I knew she wouldn’t – but I’m still happy for her because she means the world to me, and my hapiness is sourced just from seeing her smile and be the random childlike girl that she really is.

So to conclude, I think for the first time in my life I’ve found true love. I know that I may never get to hold her hand, for her to ever feel the same way about me or to look at me as she does to this person but… I am happy… I am smiling because I know that she’s smiling, and she’s happy and she will go on to make others happy and empowered around her. Of course you cry, you hurt, you pain and the feeling kills but you know you begin to realise that if you can truly love someone, you can be happy for them and can understand how they feel and which is why I wouldn’t want to be someone who step sin the way of her hapiness – but someone who can support her in her endevours objectively and still be a part of her life and share her hapiness – I think you know… I’ve found someone I might just love for the rest of my life… even though she might never actually love me back… how weird